Beautiful YOGA...Namaste!

Yay!  Happy New Year!  The end of one year, the beginning of another!

I love new beginnings.  Like a sunrise, beginnings beckon fresh new possibilities with myriad colors that can soothe or excite.  Beginnings are a great way to say good-bye. Endings whisper hello as they signal a momentum of moving on that means continued evolution and personal growth.  I've always loved beginnings, and with that has come a deepened appreciation and affection for endings.

There were beginnings this year, and endings.  I am grateful for them all.

I am grateful for "beginning" and "ending" experiences that have helped me see more clearly the path I am meant to take as a yogi.  As one who seeks to heal through service and spirit path, I have seen this year (as well as been on the receiving end of) the actions of others that, at times, supported or, in other instances, negated the responsibility and respect that inherently come with the role of "healer." As a result, some co-creative partnerships started and blossomed. In others, collaborations that began with heartfelt intention had no other place to go than to end, if anything, for the purpose of maintaining my personal safety, both spiritually and physically. 

Considering yoga teaching holds tremendous possibilities for helping others to heal in vast and diverse ways, this has fortified my intention to truly understand and practice what it means to help and serve others.  By having witnessed personally that which "does" or "does not work," I have become stronger in working towards a more authentic path that is sensitive to the "whole" healing of an individual--body, spirit and heart.  For myself as well as others.

Considering that is the core of our practice (connection betwen body, spirit and heart), I am thankful for moments of pungent clarity that have helped me see vividly the balance of positive and negative often at play in the "healer" energies that we can encounter.  Some energies are lighter, some are heavier than others.  However, as unpleasant as the heavier energies can be, they are just as valuable as the lighter ones.  If anything, I have discovered that my qualities of discernment and compassion have been honed as a result of the more potent energies I've encountered, putting ahimsa, satya, brahmacharya and svadhaya in full tilt! 

This was a big step for me considering that, throughout my life, I have always been reticent to accept that dark energies exist at all.  Aren't we encouraged as yogis to embrace "Namaste?"

Well, sometimes the light becomes hidden in others...by their choice...and the dark resides more strongly.  Whew, who would have thought?

I am deeply appreciative of the lighter spirits that have brightened my journey this year.  By their vigilance and caring manner, I am also strengthened. And I bless and thank them for their loving presence in my life.

As a result, I am grateful to be aware...for the lighter moments that empower and for the darker experiences that propel us to free ourselves from unhealthy energies that do little to honor our spirit.  By encouraging endings and recognizing the gifts that reside within both "healthy" and "unhealthy" experiences, we inevitably welcome wholesome energies and more positive beginnings to come our way....reinforcing a precious commitment to "surrender" --another aspect of our practice--that opens our world in beautiful and loving ways.

I have learned a few things this year...

Healers--Lightworkers--take on a more pivotal dimension in our lives, joining us in integrity--as we become more actively open to our mission of service. New opportunities abound, creating countless beginnings and appropriate endings when we recognize that caring for others also builds us...but doesn't have to come with a price...

Surrender strengthens, helping us to see how we can help others without judgment and to be fearless as we commit to sharing our light in ways that we don't have to be afraid of extinquishing it. 

This is what I have learned this year....and I am still learning...every day...

I feel happy and blessed in so many ways.  This year's holiday was magic--the light of healing brilliant within my sacred circle of family and friends... Love present in ways that I couldn't even imagine...

With gratitude always...love, appreciation and affection for each moment...beginnings and endings, light and dark, all!

Om Shanti

I feel so blessed...to learn...

Even lessons that turn out a little differently than we expected--whether on the mat in a studio or the mat we call "life"--can be precious nuggets to wrap and put in your treasure trove of learning...

I ponder a Zen parable (that we've talked about in class) over a recent series of events with someone I know.  Someone I knew was part of my life for the time being as a "teacher" in my journey.  But someone I thought could also learn a few things from someone like myself...

The parable speaks of a teacher, who in his quest for deepening his knowledge, visits a respected monk.  The teacher, upon meeting the monk, begins regailing the monk with his accomplishments and acquired knowledge, going on and on, and not really pausing for any moment other than to think of something else to share with the monk that proves the teacher's expertise and credentials.  The monk offers the visiting teacher a cup of tea and without pause the teacher nods and continues talking.  As the monk pours the tea, the liquid begins to fill the teacher's cup until it eventually  pours over, the heated drink touching the teacher's hands causing the teacher to jump up quickly and yell at the monk "What are you  doing?!"  The monk pauses, smiles gently and then says, "Do you not see that your mind is like the teacup, filled to overflowing that it has no room for anything else?"  The teacher, though indignant, grows silent...

I have had many teachers in my life--all different kinds.  But I have found in some instances that the most impactful teachers are often the ones whose lessons are less than "coddling" or "shiny." Experiences with these "teachers" can be downright yucky...causing doubt and self-recrimination or just steeped in battles with ego. 

And as yucky and unpleasant as some learning experiences can be, I find that in looking back I can embrace these lessons as some of the most formative because the unpleasantness attached propels me in the direction of the complete opposite energy. 

-Someone thoughtless or arrogant can be a model for me to become more open or considerate. 

-Someone abusive can direct me to help others who may be suffering at the hands of the hurtful actions of others. 

-Someone selfish or ego-minded can broaden my own desire to surrender and let go--to constantly consider that not every one really wants to hear what I have to say or glean from me some of the lessons I, too, can impart--and then move on...

That is not to say that I still don't have moments where I struggle with ego, but I try to assuage it with conscious reminders that it is okay to be human, so long as my intentions to grow are pure and loving, not focused on the improper use of energy, either of myself or those whom I encounter upon this Life path...

I am in no way a monk, but I have encountered a teacher whose cup is so full that it not only overflows but creates a bit of a mess as the liquid continues to pour...the teacher not even aware until the liquid burns not only his hand but the area around it as well...

And though I am not a monk, I am a teacher with some experience in my own right that seeks to share heartfelt lessons and intentions, hopefully to build and strengthen the spirits of those younger who cross my path, as well as learn from them...

I do not know if the teacher and the monk continue to spend time in each other's company, but I can only surmise that if they part ways, both are free so that a deeper experience of wisdom is inevitable for each of them.  In being free of the teacher, the monk is able to impart his knowing upon those who may be a little emptier and open to his gifts. The teacher, likewise, continues on the journey of self-discovery that will hopefully lead to a greater understanding of how knowledge, when accrued for the sake of selfless service and the desire to give without judgment and expectation, leads to true wisdom.

I am grateful for teachers. The yucky and the yummy...(yes, depending on how you look at it)

I am grateful for the lessons they impart.  Whatever the circumstances.

May we all be happy and free as we continue our journey of self-realization so that we may strengthen a spirit that, in continuing to learn, seeks to serve others.

Namaste.  

Wow...it has been so long since I've posted...can mention a few reasons...but will refrain as I am simply content to just get back to the page

Life is good.  In so many ways, and yet, often different than what I've imagined.  This past summer was an incredible journey...a path of learning and reconnection to "self"... Soooooo grateful and happy for many of the experiences I had. Glad for some new beginnings and relieved at things that obviously were meant to end. 

August was incredible...as a month, it was a beacon of new things to come and I am excited for the limitless possibilities that suddenly surround me in ways of love, passions and career... I may not know what gifts are meant for me...but I am content to embrace the present moment as the current gift of knowing that all things work in their own time. 

Ahhhh...surrender...letting go....emptying....perfect attunements for welcoming a brand new season of abundance.

Happy Autumn!

Happy 2011

What more to say than "thank you" to 2010 for lessons imparted and blessings bestowed through the continual turning of the wheel.  It has not been an easy year for family, and I am awed by the strength and resiliency I see in my Mom and in my nieces. They are true beacons of light in the midst of darker moments, beings of love that continue to astound and sustain me.  I am grateful for their lives being a part of mine.  I pray for their happiness, wrap them in wishes for joy and abundance, and thank them for the love they bring to my life. 

Om Shanti, Precious Ladies. 

Blessed 2011

I am often astounded at the manner in which life presents itself--the myriad moments that construct (or destruct) our journey.  So much has happened in my own life this past year, that I am almost speechless, left confounded as to how to begin to process the experiences that have brought me to his particular present moment.  Regardless, I choose to surrender continually to the notion that ultimately I am not totally in control--that something ("or things") greater or more powerful is at work.  With the same breath, I proclaim that I am blessed to have this sacred practice of yoga to help me through the winding roads of uncertainty and the blinding moments of reality (or unreality) that come at me with pungent clarity.  I face, I accept, I (like Wonder Woman) don my silver bracelets with hopeful courage, I move on...to each new moment...and stand poised and steadfast in the intention of staying true, authentic, and strong to self and heartfelt motive to grow through it all--not just for myself but for the sake of service to all...whatever that may mean...om shanti...

(By the way, Wonder Woman, your attire is perfect...you don't need to change a thing!)

Lola loves the beach.

She loves the sand, the sun, the fun she has with her sisters as they build sand castles near the water’s edge. She loves the smell of the salty ocean that tickles her nose and the taste of the ocean air on her lips each time she laughs. To Lola, the beach is a place of joy, wonder and discovery.

Finding treasures of rainbow colored glass and pink and white shells is always an adventure to her. Even the seaweed holds magic—it's just perfect for planting an enchanting forest next to her mermaid castle.

Yes, Lola loves the beach.  And although she cannot wait to visit it every summer, there was once something that she did not love so much each time she gazed upon the welcoming expanse of sand and sun…

The ocean.

As pretty as it looked to her, the ocean was an overwhelming and scary pool of water to Lola. A pool of water that looked bigger than anything she had ever seen. Certainly larger than any pool she had swum in and louder than any lake she had ever walked by. She could not imagine swimming or playing in this big loud ocean.  There was no way she was even going to let her toes touch the water.

No way, not ever…until the summer she turned five.

Five is the age Lola became fearless about the ocean.

It was a fearlessness borne one day of her heart’s pure desire to make sure nothing scared her. It took some time, but Lola was ready. She was ready to conquer the waves.  It began with a single step...

…and taking hands held out to her to reassure her that she was safe and protected as she walked closer to the water. As the hands lifted her up, Lola made her way to the water’s edge. Lola could still taste the salt upon her lips and she recalled how much she loved being there. The feeling was pleasant and safe. It felt good to be at the beach and to be held with love and comfort in the water. The ocean didn’t seem as scary. She was in safe hands. And she knew it.

Each day, Lola took bigger steps.

The hands no longer had to hold her. In time, it only took one hand to take hers and guide her along the water’s edge. She could feel the sand between her toes as the wet foam brushed over her feet. This sand was different than the sand she used to build her castles. This sand was soft and warm and held her feet steady and firm like a tree in the ground.

Soon, she was ready to let go of the hand and just stand near it. Encouraged that she was not alone, Lola took longer steps into the water, and giggled each time the waves danced around her hips.

And, then, before she knew it, one day Lola was dancing along with the waves! Free of the hands that once held her, she raised her own hands in the air in exultant jubilation at the victory of conquering her fear of that big and scary ocean!

She was swimming in the earth’s biggest pool and realized she was no longer afraid! She was Lola, Ocean Warrior—courageous, brave and strong!

Each day she grew stronger riding the waves. She laughed and jumped as the water rushed passed her. She got up each time the waves knocked her down. It wasn’t always easy, but Lola was no longer afraid. She was ready to meet the waves head on, and happy to run back on to the beach whenever she thought the ocean and she needed a break from their play.

Lola now loves the beach even more.

She loves the sand, the sun, the fun she has with her sisters as they build sand castles near the edge even more. She still loves how the ocean air tastes upon her lips, and she delights in her adventures of discovery even more. But what Lola has found since that summer she turned five is more precious than any sea glass or precious shell she could ever find along the water’s edge. She has found a precious treasure called fearlessness beginning with a single step and, to Lola, Ocean Warrior, from that moment on, anything is possible.

A new year, a new decade, a new time for growth and change...

And change is happening in so many different ways.  Not always in the ways that we expect, but transformative and healing all the same.

Changing perspectives, changing friendships, changing bodies, changing circumstances...changing everything...and it's all good...I believe this with my heart and soul, and I welcome the elements of my own transition that bring me closer to living an authentic and love-filled life.  I feel gratitude for so many things...

I am grateful for the people and challenging experiences that have brought me to a moment of reckoning, but wish them farewell since continued growth, safety and good health means saying good-bye. 

I am grateful for those in my life who show me love and acceptance everyday, regardless of any flaws and inconsistencies on my part.  My mother, my nieces, my lifetime friends--you are the epitome of unconditional love and am humbled by your presence in my life.

I am grateful for the animals that have brought and continue to bring a loving energy to our home--Francesca, Merlin and, now, Jasper.  Saying good-bye to my precious Francesca who passed in June has not been easy, but I am forever reminded and blessed by the fifteen years we shared together as "Momma and Kitty..." 

I am grateful for yoga which has nurtured and saved me unquestionably.

I am grateful for this moment--yet another precious step to waking up more and more each day.

Thank you 2009--

your path spurs me forward to yet another phase of growth in 2010.

Blessings to all Beings everywhere--Loka Samasta Sukinoh Bavantu!

Om Shanti, Namaste!

I feel as if a veil has been lifted--a new moment of awakening that has peacefully revealed its soft self to me.  December no longer has a dark cloud over it...I can embrace it again with the reverence and joy I once held... 

No longer a font of dark memory that causes my heart to cringe at the memory of hurtful past experiences, this blessed month of December 2009 has reunited peace with my heart.  I find myself actually wanting to decorate and celebrate--to welcome the light of a new phase in my life and to release the fears and trepidation that came from a journey that has transformed me.  So challenging at times, but no one ever said the path of awakening the warrior within was an easy one.

I am grateful for the inner peace I feel..right now at this moment.

I am thankful that the worst is now over.

I am hopeful for continued healing of a body and spirit that knows safety and love.

I am grateful to be blessed in so many ways.

Peace to all, especially during this most precious season that beckons us to reflection and remembrance and moves us forward as we welcome the light of new beginnings. 

Peace and Love to any one overcome by a darkness that even this season of light cannot brighten.

Om Shanti, Namaste...

So much has happened since my last posting...I really don't know where to begin...

I have hit the ground running since September 1, when school officially started.  It has been an abundant time of growth, learning and sharing.  I am grateful for all of it...even if I am feeling a bit tired at times.

I have relished the gift of letting go of the old and welcoming in the new.  Our discussions in yoga class have centered on the notion of change and the blessed gifts of love through transformation.  Love of self, love of others, love of the now--regardless of what has happened or what is to be. I continue to marvel at the priceless gift of community that grows through shared practice, and the bliss that comes with safety in sharing.

My nieces continue to bless my life in infinite ways.  Chandlar LOVES English as her favorite subject in her third grade year and is writing stories that she "dreams about."  Kodi is developing a love of picture books and recess time with friends,  Lola continues to teach us all about the power of spirit and perseverance as she battles the challenges within her body.  She is an example to us all, a true Warrior who never gives up.  I am enamored of them all--these angels in my life that teach me of the joy of unconditional love and help me to savor the sweet nectar of Life in all its kaleidoscopic dimensions.

Blessings and joy as we embrace this season of gratitude and reflection--packed up and ready for our journey, may we all find joy in continued learning along the way...

Life is not perfect...but what is perfect after all?

True, we experience our fair share of ups and downs, but hasn't everyone since the dawn of humanity? 

Think about the prehistoric hunter or gatherer, bent on survival, eager to keep food in the cave and the tribe safe.  Egad--what a harsh world.  And, yet, even as we contemplate the hunt or call for survival that was not an easy path to take, we still have wondrous cave paintings to marvel at that were created through the hands and imaginings of artists who will remain anonymous for the rest of eternity. Their art, a respite from the harsh realities of their world.  Their renderings, a creative moment captured forever that belies the raw experience of day-to-day battles with their world and the predators around them.  Their pictures, a permanent reminder of present moment release that possibly helped them forget the trials of their days. The coolness of the cave, the hand-to-hand experience of inspiration meeting paint and blank stone canvas--a nice way to fight off the memory of having had to face a saber-toothed tiger that morning, yes? Or, better  yet, to recapture the beauty and overwhelming presence of the natural world in all its wonder?

What makes us any different or more immune to fighting off the stresses and embracing the highs that permeate our own day to day? True, we may not come face to face with saber tooth tigers, but we certainly encounter moments that can trigger "fight or flight" within us.  Fighting or fleeing may not always be a matter of life or death for us now depending on the circumstances, of course, but it  can indeed bring on its share of physical and emotional stress.  Conflict, disruption, uncertainty, loneliness, dis-ease, worry, loss--all can play a part in our lives. But so can bliss and inspiration and awe.  They played a fair role in the lives of our ancestors...we are not immune...how can we accept and work with this--in effect, come to the inherent desire to connect deeply with life on all its levels?

Acknowledge, primarily, that "stuff happens."  Has been happening since the dawn of time.  Balance will always play itself in a graceful dance of opposites.  Why should today be any different than a day millions of years ago?  (Energetically speaking, that is...) Circumstances have changed dramatically, but the impact of "ups and down" is always the same...we feel just as deeply as any one who has come before us, and those who come after will continue in their own legacy of struggle and celebration.  In reaction to the "downs," some are prone to say, "Why?"  I say, "Why not?"

Breathe, surrender...plan and activate...detach and let us open our hearts to the notion that we are not alone in our struggles.  We may feel it at times...that is a given...but with the presence of the dark, there is always the promise of light,  the eternal balance of night and day in perpetual motion.

And what better way to highlight the victories than to share the joy with those around us who seek to be happy just as passionately as we do?

Embrace the creativity that can wipe away the anxiety as well as tap into the soul's bliss.   Pick up a brush and sweep the canvas of your life and find release through connecting with the present moment.  We all have the creative spark within--it is borne through us on a very deep cellular level.  We were created, so therefore the innate propensity to create is part of our divine and earthly lineage.  What creative endeavor calls to you, helps you unlock the energies that can weigh you down and help you find the higher intention you seek?  What respite calls to you that can help you balance the ups and downs of your days? 

A quiet whisper echoes in response through my own mind..."Ahhhhhh, yoga...."